Wrecking Ball

After yesterday’s soapbox rant where I seem to have hurt some people’s feelings, I wanted to take a moment to apologize for my abrasive approach for a topic that his highly sensitive to this community. I am sorry. I don’t know how else to discuss it except head on.

I still want better for all of you. And I still want you to give FB or whatever less power over your feelings.

Some of the comments that came from the post were so supportive and so kind, and so incredibly appreciated. Thank you.

To be crystal clear, infertility sucks. Period. Exclamation point. Elvis has left the building. No matter what your age, diagnosis or circumstances are.

After 2 days of feeling like I’ve been flying apart, I feel better today. Yesterday was one big emotional train wreck and I made the decision to go to bed at about 9pm with as little interaction between me and other humans as possible. Again, I lay there for a long time trying to blank out, and finally fell asleep. One of the recurring themes has been that pretty much everyone knows that hope and faith are important, but no one really knows where to get them, keep them and find more of them.

If anyone does know, please tell me. PLEASE!

In the meanwhile I am a wrecking ball. Psht. Like you haven’t figured that out by now.

Sigh. Another blogger, whose feelings I am absolutely positive I hurt, sent me a book. A gift I didn’t open until this morning, because I thought Amazon was just sending me more copies of another book I ordered ( they have sent 3 copies so far) which if anyone was wondering made me feel like even more of a dick. A gift, for no other reason than because she’s amazing. I admire her, now SHE is brave and strong and someone who I wish I was more like, Daryl sent me a book that she chose herself, and as someone who works with kids, its knowledge I appreciate being privy to, a book called“Whole Child Whole Parent”  It’s a book I wouldn’t have chosen on my own but its a book I will read and relish its sights. And I thank Daryl for 1. sending it to me and 2. for her intention which I am sure is clean and pure and amazing. The same way I see her.

Lets talk about her for a moment. I love her bravery. Her quiet strength. Her ability to be articulate herself without hurting anyone else. I wholly admire her, and I wish/pray for some of her strength and bravery every day. So after a post that I am sure hurt her, I want to apologize. With a song that’s not nearly hardcore or dark enough for her, but a song that talks about the redemption we all wish for through this journey.

As much as I love Springsteen, he will never be the same without Clarence Clemons. RIP Mr. Bigman.

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5 comments on “Wrecking Ball

  1. Theresa says:

    I liked your post. It was honest. Open. I get that we don’t want to hurt others’ feelings (I don’t either certainly!), but at the same time, it is your blog and you should feel comfortable posting about what is bothering you. Just my opinion.

    • Jeanette says:

      I wish it hadnt hurt peoples feelings, it wasnt my intention. My intention was to say, yes its hard. it sucks and its scary. And its easy to law down in your misery, but dont.

      So thank you for your opinion, and if I hurt your feelings im sorry.

  2. Daryl says:

    Two things: 1) I love you and absolutely believe in your right to say anything you want to say on your blog. This is your space. I hope I didn’t take away from that with my comment yesterday. I only wanted to point out that everyone experiencing infertility is hurting, no matter their age or how long they’ve been in the trenches. Not that you had necessarily said anything to the contrary. 2) I hope you will love the book! It’s about so much more than parenting, which is why I think it’s a good one to read now, while you’re still working on getting pregnant. Let me know what you think of it–positive or negative.

    Okay, actually four things: 3) Thank you so much for your kind words. And 4) I heart Springsteen!

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