10 comments on “Dreaming

  1. Theresa says:

    You know that sounds a lot like what the book “The Secret” says to do – visualize your dream, believe it will happen. It’s so tough for IF, though because sometimes it seems like the more you dream, the more disappointed you get when the dream doesn’t become a reality.

    I do sometimes though – I dream about how I’m going to tell DH I’m pregnant, about us hugging, crying and celebrating. Telling our friends and family. I dream about taking belly pictures and “complaining” about morning sickness or what have you. I dream about DH holding our child for the first time, watching the first smile, first steps, first throw of the softball 🙂 I actually dream a lot about DH being a dad, because I know what a great one he will be. Mostly, I dream about the baby snuggles and the toddler who runs up to me and exclaims ” I love you, mommy! “

  2. Jeanette says:

    Ive never read “the Secret” and Ive never really wanted to. I think that visualizations help to calm you in the long journey that is usually IVF or Infertility.

    You’re fabulous to have taken the time to answer this question however what I really want to know is, what do you see for you. Alone. As a mommy and a wife?

    I know you’re having a tough time giving yourself the shots and having your husband be in a different state and mother of god those are all good reasons to have a tough time. But I also sense a really extraordinary strength in you and I want to know what you see for yourself.

    **yours in shot abandonment**


  3. Daryl says:

    I just spent an extended weekend with my sister and niece–what do you think I spent a lot of that time doing? Actually, the second day of my trip, my sister had to work, so I spent the whole day with my 9-year-old niece. We made popsicles and pottery and played with Barbies (not exactly on my dream list, but it’s what she wanted to do), and had absolutely the best time. I dream of myself in the day-to-day, just doing it, and trying to enjoy the moment. Which is what I’ve been trying (and failing) to do for a long time.

    I’m so happy to hear that you’ve been doing your own dreaming. It sounds like it’s very healing for you. Also, I’ve been catching up on this cycle, and can’t wait to hear the (hopefully) good news tomorrow!

    • Jeanette says:

      Gerl thank god you’re back! I hope you enjoyed your time with your family and your niece, and Im glad that you had some time away from the circus and got to dream some of your own dreams.

      Ive missed you. And I know its not a fun thing to come back to, but Im really happy you’re back.


  4. You are so right; we NEED to let ourselves dream of these children. IF has slowly taken that from me, without me really noticing. I used to dream about our children all the time. Now that I think about it, whenever this sort of daydreaming or thinking starts, I make myself stop and think of something else. Because of the hurt, the fear that it will never happen.I shouldn’t let life do that to me..because I won’t be childless. I will have a child someday, even if that means adopting. Maybe if I focused more on the hope and the dream instead of blanching away from it, and fought back at the fear, this journey wouldn’t be as demoralizing.
    When I dream of our child, I dream about how we will parent them. What choices will we make differently or the same as our parents? How will we infuse the best of ourselves without passing on the worst? How can we raise children who are good people, who care about others’ well-being, who love learning and value working hard to achieve your dreams like I do, but don’t take life so seriously all the time, like Hubby? How do we help them be happy. How do we keep from putting too much of ourselves onto them, and allow them to be themselves, make their own mistakes, learn their own lessons, reach their own goals, live lives they love living?

    • Jeanette says:

      We do NEED to. More and more I am convinced that it might be the answer. We (me included) spend so much time fighting the fears, that we (me included) get out of the habit of hoping and dreaming about everything we want once that child comes, in whatever form it takes.

      I know that this may sound trite, but percentage wise, almost all of you will in fact have your babies. I mean, it may not come without struggle or toil, but you will have them. I hate to spoil the ending for you but for all most of you, everything is going to be ok.

      I hope for me too. But the odds are stacked against me, and even with all that I am trying to make room in my head, to dream about what it would be like.

  5. Jeanette, I sent a comment to your ’email’… but I don’t know if you got it. Just wanted to let you know. No need to respond. Take care.

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