My last post was post number 100. I didn’t even notice.

I went to the RE today for CD7 monitoring, I have 1 follicle still on the left ovary that is 12.1. FSH is lower, *weird* E2 is about where it’s supposed to be.  It’s grown exactly 6mm in less than 5 days with a natural cycle. Which as of this morning is no longer natural. I’m on a new protocol this month, where instead of Clomid, I’ve been prescribed Tamoxifen. Which I am only familiar with as a cancer drug. Because my mother took it for 10 years, before being diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time. That scared me a little, however it seems my RE has discovered that it acts (stimulates) similarly to Clomid but doesn’t thin your Endometrium or cause your LH to surge unnaturally. I monitor again on day 12 (Tuesday) to see whats happening. I imagine, since I’ve done this 10 or 11 times before, that I will trigger, and get a retrieval at some point next week if all goes well with the new meds. In 10, 11, oh who the hell knows, how many retrievals, I’ve never had a dominate follicle come from my left side. Ever. I’ve gotten a follicle or 2 from it before but they always wind up being the immature ones.

My left ovary is all wallflower-ish and under achieving. Like me in High School. Kinda. It’s the one that’s most easily visible and isn’t in a weird place like my right one, but it’s generally kind of lazy. Who else has 1 lazy ovary? How do you get it to be less lazy? Tell it, “You’re grounded until you produce a follicle?” Seriously, is there anything anyone can do to wake the lazy one up? Throw ice water on it? Poke it? What causes one to be lazy? Is there a difference in the egg quality?

Its been a busy week. Remember how I took Chinese III (Mandarin) a few months ago? We this semester I decided since I’m at home alone a lot at night, to take Honors Economics and Honors Political Science and Chinese IV, for fun. Note to self: Stop making decisions while hopped up on fertility meds or in the middle of a depression after a failed FET. Most people would avoid making decisions during times like that. Not me. Bring on some school, and some homework, and some new pencils, and SHUT THE FRONT DOOR this is expensive! Yes. I am an idiot.

My new “plan” is actually going pretty well so far. I’m avoiding the people and the “friends” and the situations that don’t add something positive to my life or my day-to-day. Instead, I’m trying to focus on friendships and classes and activities like Yoga, that make me feel better about myself. I’m also trying to avoid added stress and while the classes “might* have been counter intuitive, I have to admit it does feel good to have my brain engaged in something intellectual. Add a little more exercise and I should have a good recipe for how to better manage the outside stressors in my life.

Since I had to get a scrip filled from the Dr, I stopped at Costco this morning after my appointment. Where I got the scrip filled and decided to bring home some flowers for no other reason than because I felt like it. Usually there has to be an occasion. But not today. Today I just want to be surrounded by pretty, happy, peace and serenity, and there doesn’t have to be a reason. Right?


13 comments on “101

  1. Daryl says:

    Absolutely right.

    Hey, way to go, lefty. Maybe she’s waking up all on her own. I’ve heard of Tamoxifen being used as a fertility drug. I hope it works for you.

    • Jeanette says:

      After all this time, I hope she is waking up on her own. But I still think she deserves a good poke. Or something. I hope it works for me too.

      Look at you with the progress and the moving forward and the supplements and the clomid and all that! You’ll be on your way before you know it!! You must be at least a little excited..

  2. infertilitydoessuck says:

    I have taken femara 5x and I found it better than clomid since it doesn’t thin your lining

  3. Deborah says:

    You deserve flowers every day. Glad to hear your new plan is going well. Sounds like it is helping to make you feel a little better.

  4. There definitely doesn’t have to be a reason! It annoy the Mr. when I buy flowers for no reason b/c he’s a big ‘ole cheapo, but I like having them greet me when I walk in the door sometimes.
    If it makes you feel any better about the Tamoxifen, Femara was originally also just a breast cancer treatment drug, but they now use it to develop follicles. It has less risks than Clomid and better pregnancy results.
    Good luck with all those classes! I vote for a bucket of cold water to the lazy ovary…though that might not be too pleasant considering the passage you’d have to toss it up to get there! 😉

  5. Theresa says:

    There absolutely does not have to be a reason to do something that makes you happy 🙂
    Do that more.

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