Decisions and Opinions

After yesterdays less than stellar egg retrieval, and a meeting with Husband and Dr Yelian, he said to us “There is good news and bad news about this retrieval. The bad news is that we didn’t get an egg. The good news is that your lining is perfect for a transfer. Since no egg was retrieved yesterday, I will monitor again on Tuesday before transferring on Wednesday, assuming I go through with it.

I left the office with progesterone in oil, syringes for the injections, progesterone capsules and another prescription for Estrace. Its kind of a terrible decision to have to make. Its one that I’ve flipped flopped about at least 4 times in the last 24 hours. Normally I am extremely decisive, so this is new for me.

Pros:

  • My impatience would be at least temporarily satisfied. I could be pregnant by the end of the year. Last night this is what I really wanted.
  • According to the Dr this is looking very good for a transfer.

Cons:

  • My Dr is an optimist. (this could also be interpreted as a pro)
  • In the cold light of day and a return to logic, I have 3 retrieval left, this is my last frozen blastocyst and honestly I’d feel better with a backup.
  • The last couple of cycles have been really disappointing. I am not sure there is enough distance between the stress and anxiety of the last 2 months and my previous failure.

I spoke with Dr Yelian today and he said that 1. everything look good, but that he wants to test my levels to see how things are the day before the transfer. If anything is even a little off the cycle would be cancelled. So why is this such a hard decision for me to make? Why am I struggling so much with this one?

He asked that I start with the meds last night so I did. But I’m not 100% committed to this transfer and I told him as much, I am still thinking about it.

You guys have heard almost every detail since March 1, when I started this blog, so I’d like your opinions. Assuming you were me, and were facing this decision, what would you do? Please do not pussyfoot around my feelings. I prefer honesty and I hope that you guys will be kind enough to give it to me.

What would you do? Throw caution to the wind and try, possibly fail again, or give it some more time, do more retrievals and still potentially fail?

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10 comments on “Decisions and Opinions

  1. cassiedash says:

    Well, if it were ME…I think I would screw caution and give it a go. Let’s not waste that beautiful lining! I don’t have any experience with IVF (yet) but I do so understand the fear of failure and how that can weigh on you, and yet there is always, always a chance of failure with any cycle. I think I get why you would want to save your frozen blast as a “backup,” but if everything looks perfect for a transfer, why not take a leap of faith and give it a shot? I am the type of person who hates to have any potential chance at pregnancy pass me by, though, so maybe you don’t want to listen to me. In the end, I just hope you’ll trust your gut and go with whatever you think will give you the most peace. Whatever you choose, I’m hoping it’s the best decision possible. Hugs, my friend.

    • Jeanette says:

      Thanks Cassie, your opinion matters for sure! Its why I asked for feedback! Overwhelmingly as you can see all of you would throw caution to the wind, but having done it twice and failed twice before I am more hesitant.

      Im not saying Im not doing it, Im just more hesitant, its a long hard year Ive been on this road, and its been one of the hardest of my life.

      Leaps of faith are not my strong suit, but maybe youre right. My problem is, I dont believe I ever have good luck so leaping into the void looks like a cartoon to me, as hes frozen midair and realizes he will soon be crashing to the ground.

  2. Theresa says:

    I say see what your levels are. If they are good, go for it. You have three retrievals left – three more chances for a back up. We will be here for you, one way or the other.

  3. infertilitydoessuck says:

    I would def transfer… I would hate to waste a cycle when it could be possible to transfer… The blast was good enough to freeze so why not take a chance and hope that you get lucky… Every cycle is luck… You can put 2 great blasts back and it not work or one ok blast and it does

  4. Daryl says:

    I’m a huge ball of anxiety right now, so I totally get the fear of making the wrong decision. But if everything looks good, why not give it a shot? See how things look on Tuesday, and then…take a deep breath.

  5. Louisa says:

    I would do the transfer if your lining and levels looked good. Having that is no easy feat, I did not have a perfect lining when I transferred the embryo that is now Jack, if the blast is healthy it will do its thing if it has a chance. Having said that i was really happy i had a back up blast when i transfered. So i completely understand why this is a tough decision.

  6. Emily Erin says:

    I’d go ahead– why waste the drugs and the crazy? But I totally understand being hesitant. Will be cheering for you either way.

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