The Shape of Us

I am pregnant.

The results of my beta are: 71.5

I’d be lying if I said I was thrilled and exited and scared to death, all at the same time.

I’ve actually known since Tuesday when I was having that absurd conversation with myself, the conversation went on for quite a bit longer than I documented. Including where I finally said “Fine go ahead and buy the tests, but you are definitely not testing today!”  So I went home took a nap and peed on a stick.

Now before anyone calls me out on my crazy, 1. I acknowledged it a long time ago. 2. I’ve mentioned on multiple occasions in multiple posts that I give FANTASTIC advice that I then proceed not to follow.

As the results became visible, I kept blinking and thinking do I see a second line? Seriously? Is it there or am I imagining it?

Since then, I admit it. I’ve peed on all the things. 3 FRER tests, 1 digital test, and 1 test from the $1.00 store.

Because I knew early I’ve had lots of time to worry about how my beta would come back. And next will be if the numbers double properly. There is a long road for me and my goldfish, of making it through all the markers and milestones. I am not sure I will be comfortable for a while. A positive test doesn’t indicate a viable pregnancy.

But it gives me a reason to hope. Today, for that I am grateful.

Advertisements

36 comments on “The Shape of Us

  1. April says:

    Awesome!! I just knew I would hear good news from you today!! Yay!! 🙂

  2. ah, I know this terrible hope and fear. I am so hopeful for you. I want to say happy for you (which I am of course), but I will remain cautiously optimistic, which is what I had to do for myself. You will feel this odd mix of happy/scared for a while, I’m afraid, if you’re anything like me. It wasn’t until 10 weeks or so (or even after Tri 1) that I let myself. Believe.

    Take VERY good care of yourself. Go HCG Go!

    • Jeanette says:

      Thank you so much, I am being very careful!

      I am both happy and scared so that sounds about right. What finally made you relax and believe?

      • Bitter en Zoet says:

        Honestly? I didn’t let myself believe anything (positive or negative) until I saw a heartbeat, until the doc confirmed it wasn’t a blighted ovum and that it was in the right place. I hunted website after website looking for disasters to keep my optimism in check. And even then, maybe by the end of the first trimester, when the stats go way down, only then did I allow myself to really believe.

        am thinking of you every day.

      • Jeanette says:

        Even then, I’m not sure I will be comfortable until all the tests come back. I’m looking at closer to 12 to 16 weeks.

        Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!

  3. babylopez8410 says:

    Wishing and praying for doubling beta numbers!!! Very happy for you!

  4. Daryl says:

    AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I am so happy for you! I know, I know, still early, doubling betas, blah, blah, blah. But TODAY you are PREGNANT! And that is fan-freakin-tastic! Fingers crossed for a great number on Tuesday!

    • infertilitydoessuck says:

      Congrats!!!!! I don’t know when to stop worrying… I got less stressed once I heard the heartbeat but anything can happen so I think once you are holding your baby then you will stop worrying but then another worry starts… The joys of motherhood… Embrace the moment and enjoy your pregnancy!!!

      • Jeanette says:

        thank you! Im trying to, its just still so new and so tenuous. Theres a lot of milestones ahead and Im scared. But Im also really really happy!

    • Jeanette says:

      Thank you! I go between smiling like a moron and shaking from fear. Its a very strange combination of emotions!

  5. babyfeat says:

    oh my gosh, I am so incredibly happy for you! Sending you tons of positive vibes

    • Jeanette says:

      Theres still a long road ahead, doubling betas, first then a lot of other milestones, all of them important. Thank you so much for the positive, I really appreciate it!

      *hugs*

  6. Theresa says:

    We are a lot alike – I remember thinking the very same things you are saying (still a lot of milestones etc). It iis hard for me now even to really ENJOY this, but I try to tell myself on the days where I begin to freak out “you are pregnant today, enjoy being pregnant today.”
    YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

    • Jeanette says:

      Yeah, Im scared half to death about the second beta. And its still 3.5 days away!

      Im going to try to just focus on the happiness I feel and the fact that its finally happened!

      I just wish that there was a urine test to tell if HCG is progressing in your body. Yes. I am a control freak. I’m totally THAT girl.

  7. expecting to be expecting says:

    Yeay, such good news! Congrats lady, that is a nice beta!

    • Jeanette says:

      Is it? I have been afraid its a little low. So Im already nervous about the second beta which should be tomorrow so, since they are closed wont be until Tuesday where they will hope to see a number around 280 or higher.

      • expecting to be expecting says:

        Hey, I definitely think that number is solid 🙂

        Take a look at this to see how you’re beta stacks up, it’s self-reported with well over 2,000 listings (could be higher) but what I liked is that it shows the statistical outliers too, so you can see how big the normal range is.

        You’re in the normal range for a singleton 🙂

        http://www.betabase.info/index.php

      • Jeanette says:

        Whoa! I was 13dpo yesterday and youre right! How comfroting are you? Thank you so much, Ive been incredibly worried!

  8. dnwible says:

    So happy for you! Hoping for good numbers in a couple days!

  9. Louisa says:

    YES!!!!!! Yeah yeah yeah!!!!! So very very happy for you! And 71 is very good beta! I know this only the first step but its a bigie!

    • Jeanette says:

      Louisa, thank you so much! I’m trying not to worry about the next beta but I am somewhere in the back of my head.

      I’ve seen comments on boards saying that “I’ve seen babies born with betas as low as 70 so don’t give up yet” which completely freaked me out. Ok it was one comment but it made me start to think it wasn’t high enough.

      Thank you again!!! Much love and many hugs

      Jeanette

  10. Uh excuse me you’re what now??? I knew it! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!

    Congratulations Mamma 🙂 Sending super positive happy vibes that everything continues smoothly from here… I didn’t relax until after 13 weeks. No matter how much you try and talk yourself around there is not much you can do to stop yourself going through the freakout, but try and enjoy those moments when the excitement wins out!

    Good luck with the next beta x x x

  11. Georgette says:

    I love that the beta result includes the .5! For some reason that really suits the obsessive-compulsive in me! I am so happy for you and can’t wait for next beta. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s