A Call to Arms

Thank you to everyone for your comments and kind words, thank you for thinking of me, when you all have so many other things and more important worries of you own. Thank you.

After whats been a devastating weekend, one of me crying and not leaving the house and hardly getting dressed, yesterday I wrote an email to my RE asking why it is I have to carry this dead thing inside me until next week.

To clarify, at the appointment last Friday, he was not even a little encouraging, and his exact words were “Its very likely this pregnancy will end in a miscarriage” said “I’m sorry” and left the room.

It seems my email upset him. Last night he called by me and my husband and said “It’s not dead, you must finish all the medications until next week, and the chances are poor, but you still have a 30% chance of hearing a heartbeat next Friday and the pregnancy being viable. We did find a fetal pole but it was not clearly visible so we were unable to measure it, it may have been too small to show a heartbeat. Your gestational sac is about on target, and the yolk sack if perfectly placed and visible. It’s just too soon to call it.”
Which brings me to what I am about to ask from you now. Please send my little goldfish good vibes, to please grow, prayers if you believe in them, positive thoughts and I guess hope. I don’t know what the outcome will be and it may all be for nothing, however this embryo has been a fighter, and I hope it’s just a little slow and runty, that it hangs in there and continues to fight.
Thank you in advance, the support of the last few days has meant the world to me.




31 comments on “A Call to Arms

  1. I am so happy to hear from you. I’m sorry I did not write before- I was not sure you whether you still blogging. But I AM thinking of you and hoping for you like you would not believe. and I hope you realize that whatever the outcome, you will always deserve to be a mother. Life can be cruel and nonsensical, but please, I hope you will not punish yourself for it. go goldfish!

    • Jeanette says:

      Even if I sign out for a while Im still here. Thank you for thinking of me and I hope that at some point someday I grow up to be more like you. I really admire you and your quiet strength.

  2. cassiedash says:

    Good vibes, prayers, positive thoughts, and hope…you have everything I can offer you at this point. Hoping the next week passes quickly. Grow, grow, grow, little goldfish!

  3. Louisa says:

    Sending that little goldfish all the love and positive energy I can!!! Hang in there Jeanette!

  4. Daryl says:

    Hoping with everything I have that your little goldfish grows and grows. Thinking of you, too, and sending strength to get through the next few days.

  5. Theresa says:

    Absolutely!! Grow goldfish grow!!

  6. babyfeat says:

    I am sending that little goldfish tons of love. Maybe it needs a little Reiki energy. Sending love, positive thoughts, good wishes, and so much more

    • Jeanette says:

      I’m not sure what reiki energy is but I’m willing to try anything. Thank you so much Deborah I really appreciate it and I know you’re going through a lot yourself..

      • babyfeat says:

        It’s hands on healing energy, but also can be given through distance. You might like it hands on. It can feel really peaceful. Sending you energy, love, and prayers and hope you can find some peace through all of this.

      • Jeanette says:

        I could use some of that for sure. Im exhausted so worried and fearful, and yet there is not a single thing I can do about it. Hands on healing energy sounds fantastic!

      • babyfeat says:

        Too bad you didn’t live near me. I’m sure there is someone near you who does Reiki. It feels soooo good and relaxing. It’d be nice to see if it helped calm you

      • Jeanette says:

        calming sounds wonderful about now.

      • babyfeat says:

        I hear ya!

  7. dnwible says:

    Thinking about you and praying for good news! Hugs

  8. I’m not giving up hope on this for you! I’m so glad to hear from you again, and glad you emailed him. I would’ve had to ask that question myself. Hang in there, chica. hugs

  9. Hoping so much that your goldfish is holding on and growing nicely and will do his mama proud at the next appointment! And hang in there yourself – I went through a week and a half of “is it or isn’t it” the last time around, and the uncertainty was pure hell.

    • Jeanette says:

      It really is a special kind of hell isnt it? Terrifying and afraid to stop hoping, wondering if I did something wrong, wondering why me. It really is nightmarish.

  10. Jessica says:

    So many prayers coming your way for you and that little one!!

  11. cindysn says:

    sending you all the positive vibes I can!!!! This embryo is a fighter!!!

  12. LaineM says:

    I wish you all the luck in the world, I am hoping and praying for you with all my might. You don’t know me (never commented before) but I have spent many hours pouring over your blog and I want to tell you that I have a lot of hope for you and your journey.

    • Jeanette says:

      thank you so much for taking the time to both read and comment, it really means a lot to me, I also thank you for your kinds wishes and prayers Im amazed that so many people have had such nice things to say to me. Thank you!!!!

  13. Amy K says:

    I have been following your blog for the last month and have really enjoyed how in depth and honest you have been about your journey. I just turned 34 and recently found out that my amh is .16 and was devastated. I have shared your story with my Husband and it has given us both some hope during this emotional rollercoaster. I just wanted you to know that both of us have been thinking about you. Your blog has been a blessing to us and we are grateful that people like you are willing to share your journey to help others just starting this process. Wishing You and your Goldfish strength and luck!!!

    • Jeanette says:

      Thank you Amy, Im glad Im about to help someone. a .16 AMH has nothing to do with if you can get pregnant or not, I wrote an entire post about it that even my RE said I was 100% accurate about. Dont give up, there are much worse things that you can be diagnosed with and even then there is hope! Thank you for your kind wishes and please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or I can help you with anything specific! Thank you again!

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