Its been confirmed that the embryo stopped growing. The dr. would like me to have a natural miscarriage so I have that to look forward to.

I was told to stop all medications, and sent home with a box where I can send a sample of the tissue to confirm it was a chromosomal abnormality. If I don’t miscarry naturally in a week then I move on to some sort of pills that will make it happen. If that doesn’t work then I get a d&c.
Thank you for all the kind wishes, thoughts and prayers everyone has sent my way, I appreciate them. But as I said to Belle this morning. I am no ones miracle.

47 comments on “Answers

  1. taylor says:

    Well, shit. Shit, shit, shit. I hate that you have to feel this pain, no one should. I know there is simply nothing I can say to make this better for you. But, I am so so so sorry.

  2. Michelle S says:

    That just sucks big time~I have a heavy heart for you. You deserve better. I’m sending you positive thoughts & prayers & hugs.

  3. Louisa says:

    I’m so sorry but am glad living in limbo land is over. I am hoping you can begin the grieving and eventually the healing process. I’ve got a song for you ( music really speaks to me when I’m heart broken) its “little black submarines” by the Black Keys.

    • Jeanette says:

      Thanks Louisa, I will listen to it. Music speaks to me as well. Hopefully as the miscarriage begins to pass some of these feelings will lessen and I can go back to thinking clearly. Because Im just not right now.

  4. You are so terribly brave. I am so sorry.

    • Jeanette says:

      I really have no idea where you get that I am brave. I am as scared as anyone else.

      Thank you for commenting, for some reason even though we have never met, it really means a lot to me.

      Thank you.

      • Bravery and Fear are intricately linked. And you’re brave for telling your story, for not taking that story out on others as some have done, for continuing to put one foot in front of the other. You will make choices, you will get through this, whatever ‘this’ turns out to be. You keep going, and that is brave.

  5. cassiedash says:

    Well, damn it. And SHIT. (I rarely swear, but this seems like the appropriate time if there ever was one.) I’m so sorry for this — for the loss of your little goldfish, for the limbo that you’ve been living with, and for the waiting that is yet to come. I’m so sorry that nothing is easy for you. Holding you in my heart today.

  6. Thanks for your brave post… your heart is so heavy, it’s a wonder you can make it to the keyboard to share. This wasn’t the time. I hope you can think about trying again. I pray you can find some peace for now…and you ARE a miracle, trying all the right stuff, sharing, keeping on.

    • Jeanette says:

      Nancy, Thank you so much for your support and kind words Its really meant the world to me. After everything from this past year maybe I just dont deserve children. Its been a long hard year and I dont know how Id have gotten through it without people like you. I know weve never met but someday soon I hope we do and that I can give you a hige hug for being such a good friend to me.

  7. …I’m so sorry. I know it doesn’t really help this be any less horrible, but I truly am. Thinking of you.

  8. Daryl says:

    My heart hurts for you. I’m sorry your little goldfish couldn’t stick around and that you have more waiting ahead of you. I’m thinking of you and sending my love.

    • Jeanette says:

      I have nothing frozen. If I start again, it will be from zero. After all Ive been through maybe I just dont deserve it. I dont know anymore.

      • Daryl says:

        I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the shit storm that is infertility doesn’t give a damn what we deserve. Look at everything you’ve put yourself through just for the *chance* to hold your baby in your arms. That says a lot about what kind of mother you’d be, and you absolutely deserve that chance. Big hugs.

  9. John Markham/Cap Curmudgeon says:

    I’m sad for you, too. I understand how much you wanted this to work.

  10. SM says:

    Shit. I am so so sorry. Words are not enough.

  11. Truly heartbroken for you. Please keep in touch with us all if it helps you through this. x

  12. Jessica says:

    I’m sorry, Jeanette.:( Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  13. marwil says:

    I’m so sorry this is happening to you, it is so heartbreaking and unfair. Hope you have good support around you during this difficult time.

    PS I have seen you around but today I’m here from Daryl’s blog.

  14. theyellowblanket says:

    Jeanette, I’m so sorry for your loss. I have been where you are, and I know how far reaching the ripples of devastation are. I had a mmc in July (baby measured right on track at 8 weeks, but no HB), and I waited 10 days for the mc to happen naturally. The waiting was the hardest part for me, but it was worth it. Let me know if you have any questions about it. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss. Big hugs your way!!!

  15. babyfeat says:

    I am so sorry Jeanette. This must be one of the most heartbreaking, confusing, and scary times for you. I’m hear for you if you need to talk or vent. I am crushed for you.

    • Jeanette says:

      Thank you, same goes for you.. I know you’re also struggling and I know I’m not the only person this has ever happened to, thank you for your generous offer. I hope we can continue to share with one another.

  16. Belle says:

    Jeanette, I am so so sorry. This is so utterly unfair. I am abiding with you. xoxo

  17. There are really no words to soften this blow you’ve been dealt. It is beyond unfair and terrifying and should not be happening. Thank you for having the courage to share your story, as difficult as it is to share. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  18. Oh, Jeanette. I’m so sorry. I was hoping so much for you this week that your little goldfish would be one of the 30%.

    I had a natural miscarriage, and it wasn’t that bad – physically speaking, of course. I wrote about it here if you’d like to read about another person’s experience:

    Of course it’s another thing altogether, emotionally, and I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you strength and grace as you grieve this terrible loss.

  19. dnwible says:

    I am very sorry! I wish I had words to ease your pain… I had 4 m/cs and 1 ectopic last year; the emotional pain was awful. Take the time you need to heal, and feel how you feel. Hugs to you!

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