Beta #3

My first beta was 71.5. The second one was 96 hours after the first because the office is closed on Sundays and honestly, while still within normal range (31-72 hours) it was close at 69.8 hours of doubling time. So the Dr asked me to come in for a third beta. Which was this morning.


Dr was looking for about 720.0. Which now puts me at 46.41 hours to double. OMG It’s better than normal!

If you’re not sure what I’m talking about HCG is the hormone they are testing for, the “pregnancy” hormone.  At the clinic I go to, anything over 5.0 is considered pregnant. Most pregnancy tests show a positive at 15.0 or 25.0 depending on their sensitivity.

Its my humble opinion that Clear Blue Easy digitals are expensive and depressing. First Response Early Response or FRER are known to show positives very early, and I think are the pregnancy test of choice for IVFers. But you may have your own thoughts on this. Anyway, ideally you’d like your HCG to double in about 48 hours. But these numbers can vary wildly depending on who you speak with and as I said, the range is 31 to 72 hours.

Ive made it past the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th hurdle for this pregnancy, there are still a lot more ahead. I’m happy, still extremely cautious but very happy.





The Red Thread


Monday morning I will have my CD3 monitoring appointment.

I’ve been good, I’ve listened to the visualizations and trying to focus about everything being new again. Shaking off the bad cycles and the past, and trying to have faith in my journey.

My diet hasn’t been as strict as it has been in the past months, it’s clear I need to go back to that. I feel better when I’m really eating clean. I haven’t had the best attitude lately. I’m working on trying to change that. Perhaps that too is cyclical.

I need to say thank you to everyone that’s been so supportive of me this last few weeks. I have appreciated it so much. So much more than I can articulate here. Thank you.

The Provera seems to have worked, in that it extended my cycle from 27 days to 31 days. Which was closer to what my cycle was before starting all this IVF stuff.With any luck on CD3, my ovaries will have follicles. I know it’s a lot to hope for, but maybe this month wont be a “Circus” so much as a normal, productive, non scary cycle.

I’ve talked a lot about my failings, my frustration and my fears. I’ve said before I want to let it blow off into the ether. I want calm, serenity. To accept whatever happens and stop fighting myself and therefore everyone else. A clean mind, a clean body, a clean slate.

My friend Carlton and I had a long discussion about the “Cross Winds” post. His conclusion was that while I have mastered the poker face, what I haven’t figured out yet is how to unburden myself. But he gave me a lot to think about, and for that I am grateful. So thank you Carlton, you truly are an incredibly kind and understanding person. Its amazing through this journey who steps up to be a real friend. It was so unexpected. Again Thank you.

If you look at the profile picture on this blog, you see me, at the end of February, the day I found out that my first transfer failed. Poker face indeed.

Which brings me to a proverb I’ve been reading about a lot lately. “An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.” – Chinese Proverb

You can read more about it here: The Red String of Fate

A lot of the references to it are in regards to the destiny of your partner, or soul mate, but I’ve read about it referring to children and pregnancy as well.

Faith is a word I’ve struggled with for a long time, I used to joke that “Faith was a gift I wasn’t blessed enough to have been given” I’ve always related it to organized religion, but what I think I am starting to see is that faith is a gift you give yourself.

I dedicate this post to my husband David and to everyone, who like me at times, have a crisis of faith. Try to have faith in your journey. Have faith in yourself.

The red thread of fate never breaks.