Asshat

CD12 Monitoring Appointment, Cycle 8

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning showering so I could go to acupuncture before this appointment. I showed up early with raspberry preserves for everyone, both at the acupuncture office and for my RE’s office.

Im sitting at the clinic using their computers to write this post. After 4 days off Clomid and on Estrace my numbers are better, I’m not sure they are good enough but there is definite improvement and this cycle may not be lost.

E2 149.8, FSH is 23.2, LH is 13.9. 1 follicle on the right side measuring 9.4.

The E2 is closer to where it should be, my FHS is more than 10 points lower so that’s a big improvement in 4 days, ideally though it’s not quite low enough, in my non professional, unmedically trained opinion. Because my FSH has been so high, my LH is also artificially elevated. So I’m waiting now. To see what happens next.

The plus side of this is for the first time since last Monday, I’m pretty calm. We also get to see my little Peanutgirl today so that’s a very happy thing. I’ve missed her a lot since she’s been in Hong Kong for the last 2 weeks. It feels like forever.

We will do some more work in the yard, Husband is building some kind of a fountain so I cant wait to see how that turns out. Our Neighborhood 4th of July block party is tonight. They have a fireworks show, a kids bike parade, a live band, dancing, face painting, pony rides the whole place comes out for it.

Good things. Things to look forward to and be thankful for.

Sorry I have been an asshat this week. Seriously. I’m sorry. My approach was abrasive.

Just spoke to the Dr. He says continue Estrace Monitor again on July 3rd.

My RE is going to some big IVF convention in Turkey for 3 days, and will be back on July 5th. He expects that if I get a retrieval it will be that day. When he was in China last month, I’m pretty sure my retrieval was also his first day back. I have no idea when this man sleeps. Seriously.

As an aside for everyone who comments on my controversy post, thank you for your input your opinions your thoughts support and even though I was abrasive in my approach, your kindness. I really enjoy being part of this community, even though it’s a club no one really wants to belong to. I’ve met some of the brightest most talented writers, kindest women and most genuine people even virtually than I ever expected.

I hope you all do something fun that’s NOT fertility related this weekend!

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And Were Off

CD2 Update

Is it really cycle day 2 if you started your Shark Week yesterday at noon and have an appointment for CD2 at 10:15am less than 24 hours later? These are the things that I ponder and wonder, “hmm does anyone else think about stuff like this?”

While Im asking these questions, Id also like to know why it is when I set my headphones down no matter how nicely I do it, they wind up a tangled knotted mess that takes me 5 minutes to untie. These are the important questions of the universe and Id like some answers!

E2 was <25. This has never happened to me before, Dr Yelian said its common though because it means that the follicles are not developed yet and so starting the meds means they have the chance of growing at the same time.

FSH was 17.2. Kind of on the high side but it fluctuates so I’m going to try not to worry too much. For now.

Right ovary, unable to view. Don’t ask me where it is, they have a map for it and everything but for all I know my stepdaughter packed it and took it to Hong Kong with her.

2 follicles on the left side both about 5mm.

Another month without having to mention the echoing emptiness of a Kardashian’s head. Thank God, or Buddha or whoever.

I got to meet Linda from Operation Baby C  in the office today while she was getting her second Beta. I waited for her, and of course it was good news, but its her news so I will let her share it. Love her, she’s sweet, pretty, funny and seems like someone I’d like to hang out with!

Clomid starts tomorrow yay. No. Not yay. There’s another word Id like to use but I promised my husband Id try really hard to stop swearing.

I’ve decided to do something a little different this month. Rather than struggle and fight for a normal cycle, I’m just going to embrace the crazy. I mean being mental actually kind of helps me in my life so rather than struggle against my anarchist hipster ovaries, I’m just going to try to roll with it. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Lets see how long that lasts.

Lanterns

Lets see.

Yesterday was Fathers day in which I attempted to avoid a sunburn because my husband sprayed me down with 70 sunscreen. GUESS WHAT? I now have strap shaped sunburns where he avoided rubbing the sunscreen in because of my bra straps. Dude, we have been together for almost 12 years are you kidding me with this bra strap crap? It’s going to go over well at the “he’s trying to kill me hearing”

I had acupuncture today which hurt like a mofo because Shark week has still not appeared. Although my back and right ovary have been killing me. Which wont matter to either of them because they are busy in their ray bans with their skinny jeans laughing and making fun of the fact that I was doing the same thing to them like… 30 years ago.

Of the 2 people that joined my IVF Clinics Peer support group one is now pregnant. I’m happy for her seriously, she’s had a rough go of it, she’s a good 1000 years younger than I am, but all the same, its proof this method works! Now lets just get it working for me, that’s all I’m saying. Linda, all the very best at your second Beta on Wednesday!! Everything will be crossed for you.

Emily finally called last night from Hong Kong, there is a Typhoon warning and they aren’t leaving the hotel much, and while I hope shes safe from harm I also kind of want to laugh at her mom for taking her on such a craptacular vacation. I know its awful. I’m sorry its mean but seriously? I’m a white person, and even I know Hong Kong in June is a bad idea. All that aside it made husband really really happy to hear from her.

We bought 2 bronze Japanese lanterns for the yard yesterday for 45.00. They are both from the 30’s, Pasadena, and probably Green and Green. They look fabulous they way he hung them. Now that part of the yard is complete we need to look at the next area. He got what he wanted on Fathers day. For once he read my blog and loved what I wrote about him being a dad and all I’ve learned from him.

Now I need to find a way to untangle him from me.:p

We are planning a party for sometime this summer. I kind of want to ask my RE and my Acupuncturist, how weird would that be?

I’m considering making raspberry jam, and I’ve had a lot of requests for my bracelets so I’m going to keep up with that. I’ve promised my friend Kate to learn to knit better.

In the meantime, when it starts again I will blog about my fertility struggles. Until then its just me and weird sort of boring life.

Love youse!