And Were Off

CD2 Update

Is it really cycle day 2 if you started your Shark Week yesterday at noon and have an appointment for CD2 at 10:15am less than 24 hours later? These are the things that I ponder and wonder, “hmm does anyone else think about stuff like this?”

While Im asking these questions, Id also like to know why it is when I set my headphones down no matter how nicely I do it, they wind up a tangled knotted mess that takes me 5 minutes to untie. These are the important questions of the universe and Id like some answers!

E2 was <25. This has never happened to me before, Dr Yelian said its common though because it means that the follicles are not developed yet and so starting the meds means they have the chance of growing at the same time.

FSH was 17.2. Kind of on the high side but it fluctuates so I’m going to try not to worry too much. For now.

Right ovary, unable to view. Don’t ask me where it is, they have a map for it and everything but for all I know my stepdaughter packed it and took it to Hong Kong with her.

2 follicles on the left side both about 5mm.

Another month without having to mention the echoing emptiness of a Kardashian’s head. Thank God, or Buddha or whoever.

I got to meet Linda from Operation Baby C  in the office today while she was getting her second Beta. I waited for her, and of course it was good news, but its her news so I will let her share it. Love her, she’s sweet, pretty, funny and seems like someone I’d like to hang out with!

Clomid starts tomorrow yay. No. Not yay. There’s another word Id like to use but I promised my husband Id try really hard to stop swearing.

I’ve decided to do something a little different this month. Rather than struggle and fight for a normal cycle, I’m just going to embrace the crazy. I mean being mental actually kind of helps me in my life so rather than struggle against my anarchist hipster ovaries, I’m just going to try to roll with it. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Lets see how long that lasts.

Lanterns

Lets see.

Yesterday was Fathers day in which I attempted to avoid a sunburn because my husband sprayed me down with 70 sunscreen. GUESS WHAT? I now have strap shaped sunburns where he avoided rubbing the sunscreen in because of my bra straps. Dude, we have been together for almost 12 years are you kidding me with this bra strap crap? It’s going to go over well at the “he’s trying to kill me hearing”

I had acupuncture today which hurt like a mofo because Shark week has still not appeared. Although my back and right ovary have been killing me. Which wont matter to either of them because they are busy in their ray bans with their skinny jeans laughing and making fun of the fact that I was doing the same thing to them like… 30 years ago.

Of the 2 people that joined my IVF Clinics Peer support group one is now pregnant. I’m happy for her seriously, she’s had a rough go of it, she’s a good 1000 years younger than I am, but all the same, its proof this method works! Now lets just get it working for me, that’s all I’m saying. Linda, all the very best at your second Beta on Wednesday!! Everything will be crossed for you.

Emily finally called last night from Hong Kong, there is a Typhoon warning and they aren’t leaving the hotel much, and while I hope shes safe from harm I also kind of want to laugh at her mom for taking her on such a craptacular vacation. I know its awful. I’m sorry its mean but seriously? I’m a white person, and even I know Hong Kong in June is a bad idea. All that aside it made husband really really happy to hear from her.

We bought 2 bronze Japanese lanterns for the yard yesterday for 45.00. They are both from the 30’s, Pasadena, and probably Green and Green. They look fabulous they way he hung them. Now that part of the yard is complete we need to look at the next area. He got what he wanted on Fathers day. For once he read my blog and loved what I wrote about him being a dad and all I’ve learned from him.

Now I need to find a way to untangle him from me.:p

We are planning a party for sometime this summer. I kind of want to ask my RE and my Acupuncturist, how weird would that be?

I’m considering making raspberry jam, and I’ve had a lot of requests for my bracelets so I’m going to keep up with that. I’ve promised my friend Kate to learn to knit better.

In the meantime, when it starts again I will blog about my fertility struggles. Until then its just me and weird sort of boring life.

Love youse!

Fathers Day 2012

Husband is sleeping in this morning. If you consider sleeping past 6:30 sleeping in. I went to bed before he did so I’m up and chipper and ready to go and he’s still got that face on him that says “what the HELL is WRONG with you? So I’m letting him rest.

Were going looking for an antique Japanese lantern thingy today. For the yard. It’s what he wants for Fathers Day. Since the unfortunate sunburn incident from Mothers Day, this requires me to be hosed down with 70 sunscreen, like I’m 4 (with roughly the same amount of whining), and me wearing a hat. If it were up to him, Id also be wearing on of those Chinese lady visor/welders masks, and carrying an umbrella. Even though I am the crazy one, OBVIOUSLY,  I have to draw the line somewhere.

He’s just lucky my hat isn’t one of those Hatfield & McCoy hats, because that was a HAT. Kevin Costner couldn’t make it work, there’s no way I can.

Its been an uneventful week.

By uneventful, I mean stepdaughter finished the 10th grade, and left for Hong Kong for the next 10 days. It’s the first time we wont have her on Fathers Day and Husband is sad. In the next few days she will also turn 16, and we will miss that as well. Don’t ask, it’s not supposed to be like this but her mother can be really unreasonable sometimes and somehow we got Shanghaied into it.

I also mean I made a new friend, in person, for the first time in as long as I can remember. Shes fanfreakingtastic! HUGE SHOUTOUT!

I dropped a bottle of nail polish in the bathtub which was not very good as my bathtub is white, and my nail polish is red and now even though I’ve cleaned it up, as much as I can, it still, slightly resembles a crime scene.

I finished the Provera and Shark Week should be here any minute. I was hoping maybe Friday but as usual my ovaries are doing whatever they want. Like the anarchists they are, obscene gestures and all, it is still not here.

I know I have a penchant for waxing mushy about my husband but he’s such a great Dad. He helps his daughter with school projects, he loves her to pieces, is encouraging, is patient and kind and funny with her. They look exactly alike and she’s an incredible kid.

I’m not jealous, but I want that. I want him to be a Dad again, and I want the opportunity to do it with him. He sets the bar pretty high but honestly, because of him, because of all these years of learning from him, I think it would make me a better mother.

Happy Fathers Day to all of you, if you are a Dad, have a Dad, or someday hope to be a Dad, Happy Fathers Day! I hope it’s a beautiful one.

Bridget Jones

I realized today that this IVF process has changed me. In some good ways and some bad ways but it’s changed me.

Think of it as my Bridget Jones List of trying to conceive via ART.

Comment translation:

  • g – good
  • vg – very good
  • vvg – very very good
  • nvg – not very good
  1. I no longer read gossip sites like Perez Hilton and Dlisted. Now I read a lot of infertility blog posts. g
  2. I watch enough trash reality tv that it’s really embarrassing. nvg
  3. I no longer care about anything any Kardashian as doing as long as my ovaries are not as empty as any of their head. vg
  4. I’ve eaten more fruit and vegetables in the last year than I have in my whole life (thanks for contributing this one husband) vvg
  5. I’m willing to try things like fertility yoga and meditation, things I’d have rolled my eyes at a year ago. g
  6. I’m willing to drink things that are abhorrent to me like huge glasses of wheat-grass. *this is really questionable*
  7. More people have seen the Queen Victoria in the last 7-8 months than have in my entire life.  nvg
  8. I’ve tried and continued with acupuncture. Even though sometimes I think he puts the one in my head there, to let the evil out. vg
  9. I take enough vitamins to choke myself, and sometimes do. g
  10. I’ve give up my beloved Diet Coke.  vg
  11. I’ve yelled at my RE. *Not my proudest moment I can assure you*  nvg
  12. I started a Peer Support Group for my clinic and omg people actually joined. g
  13. I have learned an entirely new set of acronyms and practically a whole other language *again, questionable*
  14. I actually get impatient for Shark Week to start so I can try again. *possibly indicates insanity*
  15. I’ve met, even if it’s just online, some of the best people I’ve ever known in my life. vvg!
  16. I have major control issues, I’m impatient and have a forked tongue. nvg
  17. The support offered by the blogging community has been amazing. Really. AMAZING. vvg!

The point of this journey is to wind up with a baby. It’s still my sole purpose, but I do think that for all its ups and downs, there have been some really special things that have happened a long the way. Somehow, fear and all, I do find the ability to hope, at least a little every month. Why else would I continue trying?

Bitter en Zoet *one of my most favorite bloggers!* made a comment to me last month “Magical Things Happen at the Circus”.  I try to think of that when I’m feeling particularly down.

One more Provera pill until the Circus begins again!