Story of my life.
CD3 Monitoring appointment today. There were follicles in my ovaries on day 3 for the first time in 2 months. Which is wonderful, however…they look more like cycle day 10 or 12. In fact my ultrasound tech was more excited about it than I was. Bless her.
Lets talk numbers.
E2, 426. FSH 3.0 LH 8.8. Normally my RE doesn’t test for LH at this point but after the E2 being so high and FSH being so low, he wanted to see how close I was to my LH surge. In case you have no idea what these numbers mean, let me just say that e2 is crazy high.
This sets a new record for highest E2 and lowest FSH ever. Much less on day 3. Everyone in the office was talking about it, nurses kept coming up to me ” I just saw your chart are you sure its only day 3?” I’ve always wanted to be the person who actually is every single use case scenario. No, actually I’ve never ever wanted that.
If you don’t know what a “use case” is, it’s a software development term used to define every possible exception, every odd occurrence, every strange happening.
The prodigals right ovary made a rare appearance today with 2 follicles, measuring 24.9, so that’s probably a cyst, and 21.1. The more demure and under performing left ovary had one follicle that is 16.3.
Dr Y asked me point-blank “Have you been taking some drugs that I don’t know about?” I squeaked “Drugs?” He said “Yes fertility medications?” My jaw dropped and I said “OF COURSE NOT. I hate them. Clomid makes me feel like a beast” and he started laughing. For which I gave him the evil stink eye.
I left the clinic with a Lupron shot, to be taken tonight at 10:30, and an egg retrieval scheduled for Wednesday morning at 9:30 which means I will still be having my period during this procedure. Perfect. A whole new layer of humiliation. If it means I get 1 or 2 good eggs, then sign me up. Why not, I said goodbye to my dignity 6 months ago and haven’t seen it since.
I’m amazed that my body just does whatever the hell it wants to and leaves me holding the pink bag, literally, looking like some kind of fertility medication crazy person. As you can see I am willing to embarrass myself to have a baby. Just in relation to monitoring I have endured 20 blood drawings, 20 ultrasounds, half of the building has seen me with no pants on, a handful of people have seen my girly parts more than I have in my whole life, 5 previous egg retrievals, with another on the horizon but taking fertility drugs outside whats prescribed to me? You have to be kidding. I have to draw the line somewhere.
Maybe those Circle and Bloom visualizations are working. Or maybe my body is just a freak show.
I’m happy. I think. I’m a little worried, but I’m glad I don’t have to talk about Kardashians this month.